1 year ago
337 notes

In a previous report, we at Night Vale Community Radio were talking about the commonly-held belief that there is such a thing as mountains. We scoffed at this belief, and bellowed repeatedly, “It is flat all the way round. It is flat. All. The. Way. Round.” We wrote lists of friends we knew to believe in mountains, and sent the lists to the City Council, recommending that all of them be put into indefinite detention. We got physically violent with an effigy labeled “MOUNTAIN BELIEVER”, punching it repeatedly before burning it in our station’s bloodstone circle. In fact, we devoted a full day of our programming to getting together the entire station staff, and screaming in unison, “Mountains? More like nothings!” into the microphone.
Recently, one of our previous-mentioned friends, who, thankfully, had not yet been apprehended by the Council, took us for a drive out to a mountain. We looked at the mountain, and even touched it, and it was definitely real. Therefore we are forced to admit there is indeed at least one mountain in this world, and we apologize for our previous energetic assertions to the contrary.
I’m still not completely sold on there being more than one mountain. It’s possible that the mountain apologists built a single mountain in order to prove their skewed worldview. Not certain, listeners, not certain… but possible.

In a previous report, we at Night Vale Community Radio were talking about the commonly-held belief that there is such a thing as mountains. We scoffed at this belief, and bellowed repeatedly, “It is flat all the way round. It is flat. All. The. Way. Round.” We wrote lists of friends we knew to believe in mountains, and sent the lists to the City Council, recommending that all of them be put into indefinite detention. We got physically violent with an effigy labeled “MOUNTAIN BELIEVER”, punching it repeatedly before burning it in our station’s bloodstone circle. In fact, we devoted a full day of our programming to getting together the entire station staff, and screaming in unison, “Mountains? More like nothings!” into the microphone.

Recently, one of our previous-mentioned friends, who, thankfully, had not yet been apprehended by the Council, took us for a drive out to a mountain. We looked at the mountain, and even touched it, and it was definitely real. Therefore we are forced to admit there is indeed at least one mountain in this world, and we apologize for our previous energetic assertions to the contrary.

I’m still not completely sold on there being more than one mountain. It’s possible that the mountain apologists built a single mountain in order to prove their skewed worldview. Not certain, listeners, not certain… but possible.

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